The Cheese Stands Alone August 24, 2011

I have only allowed two other cheer moms access to my FB page and, it follows, this blog. I carefully try not to describe any person or any situation so clearly that they would be evident to the casual reader. I’m sure that sometimes, the thing I ridicule is evident. Such is life. The legalistic angel on my shoulder says that if you don’t want to become the subject of a blog mocking your actions, you…shouldn’t act like that in public. We’ll just consider this your practice to not end up on a show like “Cops,” shall we? If you keep the drama and white-trashedness to a minimum, I would have nothing snarky to say. Hmmm…upon re-read, it appears that it’s more like a legalistic devil. I suppose the angel would have a bit more compassion.

At any rate, I don’t necessarily want to be a pariah. I want to sit alone at the side of the gym ignoring everybody else because I want to. Not because I’m afraid they would spit on me. So I keep my exposure to carefully selected cheer moms who (I hope) will recognize this for what it is. Also…and this is going to sound sooooo cocky….I don’t have time for any more friends. I feel like I’ve said this before. But for real? My hubby and I just instituted a “get into your room by 9:00p so we can actually see each other without being under your watchful eyes” time frame on our children. And today? I scheduled a lunch with one of my favorite work people for TWO WEEKS from now. And by scheduled, I mean that I totally and completely sent her a calendar invite. And my best friend – we have caught up in sporadic patches of time for the last six months. So I don’t have the hours in my day to be your BFF. Or even your F.

This might make me a super-bad cheer mom. Or maybe a super-bad friend.

Current mood: selfish

“I’m not being sarcastic. I swear.” August 22, 2011

By the time she finishes high school, I’m sure I will have heard this phrase a number of times equal to the population of ants at an unattended sugar cookie picnic.

 

So today is not a day of cheer. It is instead a day of dance woes. One of the dance teams at the school recently held try-outs for a specialized competition team. Only a few girls made it. And apparently, all Hades broke loose. Friends turned on each other. Moms have complained. I know this because we are on the spirit committee together. And they have complained to me. Remember way back a year ago when I first started this journey and I knew next to nothing about cheer? What I know about dance would look like the tiny little speck on a bar graph next to the big huge mark of “what I knew about cheer last year.” Which is to say absolutely nothing. So I had pretty much nothing to offer these very angry ladies. The most unfortunate mom was the one whose daughter did make the team. She asked me how I handled it, since I was used to the whole try-out thing. To which I said, “honestly, I’m not sure. I try really hard not to get too close to the parents that over-invest in their child’s high school extra-curricular activities.” The look that I received as a response greatly tempted me to add a category to the blog entitled “what not to say to a DANCE mom,” but since I am relatively sure that this will be my only dance-related post, I held back. It really is a different beast, though. At least with cheer, the group that makes JV still gets to go to national competition. They still get to take a trip to Florida. And as far as I’ve heard, all of K’s friends who didn’t make it to varsity with her have been really supportive.

 

But can I be honest, y’all? I’m still not a real cheer mom, I think. I didn’t really care where K ended up last week. Although I’m not gonna lie…every idiot knows the difference between jv and varsity and I’m too type-A not to be excited about her being in the top level. But that also follows for singing, grades, and manners, too. I’m not worried about what stunts she can do, I have no idea what any of their names are – ok, that’t not entirely true. I know the elevator, because that’s the first cheer mom thing I learned, and the liberty, because it looks like the girl is pretending to the statue of liberty…and a flamingo simultaneously. I fear that comment will have me banned from practices from here on out. Maybe that’s not so bad. I will admit that I get frustrated watching her tumble sometimes. But it’s not for the same reasons as some of the other moms. It’s not because I’m so wrapped up in her completing the next trick that I’m willing to yell through soundproof glass that she needs to get her act together. If you see me irritated and tight-lipped, it’s usually because I can hear the money slowly circling the commode as she dances in oblivion on the sidelines and gets her four thousandth drink of water in a ninety minute time period.

 

Today’s nerdy confession: I yelled at my teenager, like seriously got upset, because she gave away the ending of a book to my husband. See, I belong in my own special brand of crazy.

 

Here’s a little bit of cute to keep this light and fluffy. This is K’s newest acquisition, Elle Norris. I tried calling her Elle Varsity Norris, but K wasn’t having it. Sigh.

 

Current mood: meow

 

P.S. Congrats to my favorite Junior – who DID make competition dance

 

 

Those Were The Best Days Of My Life August 19, 2011

I have had a great summer. It has been unbelievably busy (thus the lack of blog entries), but incredibly fulfilling. In a nod to last year’s summer-end entry, I’ll give you a brief recap of our zany-fun schedule. This time, however, it will have to be picture free…because my camera died on me half-way through adventure #2. And I haven’t had the togetherness to take my card over to my friend’s reader yet. At any rate, here we go. You know what, I’m not sure it’s gonna be the same without pictures, so until I have something, let’s just put it this way: camp, Rockport, camp, Dallas, Garner, College Station, Garner, Guadalupe SP. There. Maybe more when I have my pictures back.

 

Instead, let’s check what’s new on the cheer front, shall we? I’ve already reported that K made the JV team for the football season. Tonight they tried out for competition teams, and my awesome non-cheerleading cheerleader made the varsity team. Goes to show that hard work and focus can really pay off. I’m very proud of her. Today was a bitter-sweet day. I took M to her middle school camp day, where I had to DROP HER OFF. I couldn’t stay. She’s growing up. My baby. We shopped for awhile this evening, then we got the news from K and I took her and a cheer buddy to dinner. So a day of highs and lows.

 

I think I’ve been having writer’s block lately based out of sheer exhaustion. I have two short-story ideas that I’ve even sketched out and I can’t bring myself to do any other typing once I get home. Obviously, that’s another reason that the blogs have been few and far between. It’s like I’m doing so much during the day that I can’t find the wherewithal to gather my thoughts into coherent words at the end of the evening. I’m quite sure that Chris would say I am overworking myself. He’s probably right. But I promise you that being on the spirit items committee is NOWHERE near as time-consuming and soul-sucking as PTA treasurer. I will pay my $4.50, but I will never, EVER take part in that madness ever again. Those ladies are nuts. And I was one of those nutty ladies.

 

So I’m thinking about applying to be a chaperone for this year’s Florida trip. The one stipulation is that I need to completely fundraise K’s way there. Do you need Scentsy wax things? Go ahead and click here. Go on, now. Clearly, I am quite the salesman. But in all seriousness? The less I pay for her, the better the likelihood that I get to go. If chosen. OK, ad space over.

 

I’m so bummed right now. I’ve had about six good cheer stories built up over the summer and I can’t pull my poor brain together to bring one out. I’ll try again in the morning. When I have to wake up at 8:00am on the last Saturday of the summer to drop my daughter off at practice. At VARSITY practice. Take that, rude girl from last year.

 

Current mood: scattered